Here’s to a Happy, Healthy, Regulated Year
Congratulations to all of us, we did it! We made it to 2026. I know there were moments in 2025 when you wondered if your whole world was going to collapse in on itself and honestly, maybe it did, but you’re here now and crushing it.
I’m gonna be very real with y’all (cuz I always am). I texted my best friend last night just after midnight with a message that said: “Thank the Lord Most High that year is over. Bring it 2026!”
There’s no guarantee that the challenges of 2025 won't continue to interrupt the very delicate ecostructure I have set up for myself and family, but what is guaranteed is that I learned more than a book could ever teach me, as I lived out each and every moment of each and every challenge in real time with real hands on experience and I have kept what worked and let go of what didn’t. Did I have tantrums along the way? In my own way I sure did! Did I become dysregulated? Absolutely! Did my fight, flight, freeze sensors go off? Yep, each and every one! And each time I had an opportunity to show my own child that’s it’s okay to feel and have emotions, it’s okay to be upset and dysregulated, it’s okay to become frustrated and to get your feeling hurt and it’s okay to cry and crawl under a weighted blanket and plop into your kiddo’s sensory swing (*note to self: buy one of those in 2026).
I could have felt as if I failed my child as I continually sunk further and further into my adult traumas, but instead I chose to make them learning opportunities for both of us. They are watching carefully, especially those that have neurodivergent littles, at every emotion and reaction. Through it all, we are teaching them how to regulate their own emotions. Teach them it’s okay to have a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day (month or even year) and how to cope and regulate through it.
A few examples of how I lived this out were by naming what was happening in front of my child and communicating what I was going to do about it. For example:
“Mommy is feeling very overwhelmed. I need to take a few deep breaths.”
”I need the noise levels in the house to go down significantly (turn down tv, stop singing opera, go outside for that activity) because my sensory system is in overload.”
”It’s okay for mom to cry sometimes, it makes me feel better”
”Get your shoes on NOW! I have to go for a walk and get fresh air”
”I’m feeling very cranky, I don’t think I’ve eaten yet today. Let's stop and eat before having this conversation.”
Was this oversharing with my child? No, because our behaviors are language and I had already communicated over and over again through my behaviors what I was feeling. The information was out there. What I did do is name it for my child and show what I needed to do to re-regulate.
My hope is that next time my child is also overwhelmed, overstimulated, sad, hungry and whatever else may come into play, there will be a remembrance of not pushing aside the emotion or attitude, but giving permission to work through it in the way my child needs.
In a world where we are taught to sit up straight, raise our hands and wait to be called on and then ask permission to do what we need to do, it’s important that our children see us advocate for ourselves. If they knew that in the middle of a stressful situation at school they could stop and take deep breaths just because that’s what they needed, it could change their whole day. If they were able to put language to their emotions it would be easier for them to get what they needed. Instead of throwing a tantrum they could say, “I’m really overwhelmed because so and so is making a lot of noise. Can I move to another part of the room?” or “I can tell I need a snack before going to soccer practice. I’m feeling hungry and upset.” It doesn’t change the emotion, it’s not supposed to. It’s giving permission to have the emotion and the voice to advocate for the need to get themselves out of the place they are in.
Life happens, we are human. All of us are human, not just the adults that are in charge, but our children as well. Yep, they are 100 percent human too. Start now teaching them how to have emotions and feelings and how to advocate for themselves through them.
Here’s to a happy, healthy and regulated year.
Sara
