Before the Clock Strikes 12
Merriest Christmas to the brave parent advocates who are putting in the hard work each and every day to support and love their children through the social, academic and educational up and downs the whole family faces.
As this Christmas Day 2025 is coming to a close I sit here wondering to myself if any of you feel as I do. Do any of you ever feel like you’ve screwed up as a Parent? Friend? Partner? Human Being? And wish you could magically go back in time and fix it? I don’t mean a little hiccup to your day, but you really messed up. That’s where I am tonight and wishing I could explain it away as an executive functioning error or lack of social skills. Perhaps my auditory functioning misread the clues, or my proprioceptive input disregulated my system. These are all the things that run through my mind before correcting my own child on a misbehavior. Unfortunately (and fortunately) my executive functioning is quite good, social skills are above par and auditory and sensory processing are in check. So now what?
I spend the chunk of my time and life tracking down, driving to and from, vetting out and following up with all the supports I have set up for my family. I’m wondering in this moment why I don’t have the same supports set up for myself that I do my child. Why do adults not see the value in self growth and care like we do for our kids. For example, how nice would it have been to have had a floortime therapist that was with me, who could have redirected my actions and explained the other person’s point of view to me before I messed up. Or, I wish I had a social skills class where I got to act out the real life adult situations of work life balance, sex and relationships, and parenting and kids. What about a service animal that could jump in and give me a social barrier before I make a fool of myself?
We spend our time making sure our kids are set up for success, but what about ourselves? I may not have the same special needs as my child, but I still have behavioral problems at times, I still misread social cues like the best of us and still need the redirection of knowledgeable individuals to help steer me in the right direction.
I know what you're thinking, because I’m thinking it myself. Where will you find the time and resources to not only invest these skills into your children but yourself as well? Where will you find the direct support you need as a parent and individual? Some of us would stop there and admit defeat because you are talking about yourself. For your child however you would fight for the supports and accommodations till you got them.
Perhaps as we enter into this last week of 2025, we can set up not only our children for success, but ourselves as well. Here’s a few questions to ask yourself:
Where am I getting my OT needs met? Exercise? Fresh air? Regulation?
Where is my social skills group? Do you have a network of people you can call upon to set you straight on well, pretty much everything?
What speech pathology are you getting? Are you saying the right things at the right time? Do you need help regulating your stance and point of view? Are you using your voice for good and to uplift others?
How about counseling services? They aren’t just for kids. As adults we encounter scenarios that need attention as well.
Physical Therapy is helpful for adults too. Perhaps not professionally, but we get stuck in our ways and need to work out a few kinks every once in a while as well.
At the very least stop for a moment and think about all the support you give your child each and every day and consider adding some in for yourself as well.
And if you're like me… and have royally screwed up with no excuse insight, do everything you can to repair those relationships this week. Time moves forward and doesn’t stop for anyone. The ball will drop at 11:59 pm next Thursday. The only thing we can take into the New Year with us are the relationships we have invested in. Everything else is just stuff.
I look forward to hearing of you and your child’s success in 2026.
Merry Christmas/Happy New Year.
Sara
